The Persistance of a Writer

The will of the way of writing is sitting down, being, writing against the hard waves,--learning, becoming better, teaching what you learn, learning better, writing story, being blessed, teaching what you learn, learning better . . .

The goal is the walk. I offer myself this lesson, well, again and again. Still the word and the story show up. I'm juggling life and the cost of houses and college educations. This puts a pressure that is not conducive to creativity. Instead, it says go, work, give--somewhere in that space I still write. I see the moon and I walk the lake with my dog and watch it turn silver, watch pelicans dip their beaks into that silver lake, sipping a silvery fish. It slows me down, my dog swims, I sit on the levee and feel grateful. It returns me to myself and I shed my skin.

Giving thanks

One of my goals the past years has been to give thanks for the many opportunities that come my way. On a school visit to Gilman, Wisconsin in 1997, I was presented a beautiful Gratitude Journal by Heather Palmer, the art teacher. Heather told me that the journal was one in which I should write down things I was grateful for. I started doing this and came to value the practice. It's helped me cope with the ups and downs of publishing and reminds me how fortunate I am to get to do what I love when so many people struggle with so little. On this Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all of you and send all best wishes for a wonderful holiday.

Flexible Goals!

Mock-cover for *new* book

The image above is a "pretend" cover I made a few years ago when working on a story I had actually begun in 2003 after going to the symphony to hear Bruckner, my composer husband's favorite composer. On the program for the evening was Stravinsky's "Petrushka" and in the program was a gorgeous photo of Stravinsky and the dancer, Nijinsky. Something struck me from that image and I was compelled to begin a story about what happened when Stravinsky met Nijinsky. I am telling you this story because after 8 years of working off and on the story, it has just been offered a contract with Harcourt Books- part of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt! With this wonderful news comes a complete re-ordering of goals- and thus the title of my post: Flexible Goals!

Igor Stravinsky and Vaslov Nijinsky in 1911

Because this picture-book-to-be culminates in the premier of the Rite of Spring in Paris on May 29th, 1913, we have imposed a very quick deadline for publication- wanting it to come out on time for the 100th anniversary- spring 2013! I had just begun the illustrations for another book, but with my editor's blessings, I have pushed that deadline off and now have a goal of finishing the sketches for WHEN STRAVINSKY MET NIJINSKY by January and the final art by April of 2012. I have found that when my goals touch upon my heart's desires, I can meet them. This story and its characters lives deep inside my heart and imagination. I know I can meet these goals!

I have another goal that seemed to come out of thin air, but it is also seated deep in my heart's desires- While lying on the couch with the flu at the beginning of November, I acted on an impulse to register with NaNoWriMo and begin writing a middle grade novel that had been bumping around in my head for over a year. Spurred on by NaNo's pep talks and support from writer friends, I have embarked on a journey of writing that I do not want to let go of. I love my characters, my setting, and the plot begins to simmer, though not thickening yet. November is nearly over, but I am setting what I hope is a workable goal of writing two pages a day, even through the above deadline!

Goals are often attached to commitments. Over the past five years I have committed myself to being the script writer for Circus Juventas and I have committed myself to visiting schools and libraries as an illustrator/author. The Wild West is the theme for this summer's Circus Show and the script is nearly done. Usually I would linger over the winter holidays, finalizing the script for the unveiling in the new year, but I have already spoken with the Artistic Director and set myself the goal of finishing by December 12th before the circus school's winter break. And almost with some kind of sixth sense, I have not scheduled myself with too many school visits this winter leaving open time for illustrating WSMN~ what a gift for the new year!

One Life, One Goal

Today is my 48th birthday, and so thinking about goals seems appropriate.

Ever since I was in grade school my primary dream/goal has been to be an author. Over the intervening years I have kept the faith and continued the quest -- through the rise (and eventual decline) of Minimalism, the supposed Death of the Novel, the resurgence of Children’s Literature (thanks, Harry Potter!), the dawn of the Information Age, and on into a new Millennium. Along the way -- while juggling jobs, relationships, and my own family -- I have managed to publish two stories, a haiku, a humorous essay, and, this past summer, a poem. So I guess I’m an author, of sorts, but I have yet to achieve my main goal: to write (and publish) a novel.

I have written upwards of 10 different novels in the course of the last 20 years, all of which reached various levels of “completeness” but none of which, so far, has developed into a finished manuscript. Currently I have drafts of two different novels I am working on, either of which might be “the one” that allows me to finally realize my dream. To be honest, some days I fear I will lose the will to keep plugging away, but then I come up with a new character or a scene, and I plunge back in again. I believe I will continue doing so until either I succeed or mortality catches up to me. Until then, I’ll stay hard at work. Wish me luck. It can only be a matter of time, right?

Besides, if I didn’t keep trying to write, what else would I do?

Make Big Plans

On my computer I have three different signs, and I'm adding a fourth this weekend. To my left, I have the sentence, "I have 12 stories published by age 56." Since I'm 51 I'm a little worried about this, but still, it's a good goal to shoot for. In the middle of my computer frame I have a note from my aunt that says, "Follow that light." We had a discussion last time we were together about finding what brings us true joy, and even if the light is faint, to be true to it above all else. On the right side of my computer I have the words, "I have a Caldecott." I know that you're not supposed to say that wish out loud, but it is a wish and I need to remember it and write for it in the hopes that one of my illustrators hits a home run. I don't want to bury that dream under superstition. My fourth sign, that I will put on my computer once I finish this blog, is "Make big plans." The words popped into my head last week and they haven't left (everything else seems to have!). I don't know what this means, but it sounds very hopeful.

My daily goals are a little less pie in the sky. I need to work on the syllabus for my children's lit. class. I need to review illustrations for one of my books and turn in my comments by Monday. I need to respond to the students in my Humanities class, and I need to turn in papers to be copied for my class. All are doable. Some are more overwhelming than others. Most will be done in the next week.

My goals for the next few weeks are to come up with some new story ideas, or revise some old ones. I guess that's not too bad for someone who is not the biggest fan of planning.

Goals, Vague and Specific

When I was in college, it seemed I had forever ahead of me, and my goal to become a published author was just "sometime in the future." But the older I got, the faster time flew. I began setting goals by decades--still vague enough that I had an entire ten years to accomplish them. At 40, I decided to be published sometime in my 40s, and I achieved that goal. Then I set the goal for my first "solo" book to be in my 50s--I achieved that goal. I also found that I was not satisfied by simply achieving those vague goals. I needed to keep writing, but those "sometime in the next decade" goals were not specific enough.

These days as I am facing the reality of mortality during my father's fast decline, I am back to baby steps--specific goals set for a few days at a time, squeezing writing in as I can, but with the primary focus on making the most of the time left with my father. I am also bolstered by John's words about being brave and not simply being satisfied with what I've done in the past. Now I must push myself to take chances and try something new and different.

On Your Mark; Get Set; Go! (Semicolons, commas or periods?

What you see here is an illustration by Salvador Dalí of Don Quixote de La Mancha translated by Peter Motteux. Poet David R. Wagoner gave me the book when he learned that I was writing about Dalí.What an honor!

That precious gift is forcing me to finish the Dalí biography by next spring. I also want to revise Late She Came to Know, the novel I had talked about here.

While working on both, I will study how to use the mechanics of writing--punctuation, capitals, italics, sentence structure, paragraph length, white spaces--to show the mood of a scene. All this time I have been concentrating on word choices. I won't stop. But it's time to pay attention to those commas.